Hello, for those of you who do not know me, I am Jared Esplin, son of Dave and Nanette Esplin, and I have been called to the Honolulu, Hawaii Mission.
Whenever I tell someone where I am going, they say about three phrases which equal, "wow! that's a hard one," "How did you luck out to get that one?"..... I don't know how I "Lucked out" to get such a desired mission, but I am grateful and feel honored that Father has called me there.
I was asked to speak on trials, and I believe this was inspired. I have had a lot of personal experience on this topic. Many of the things I will share, I have never told anyone else about,, I hold these things very close to my heart, by sharing them, I hope I can help anyone who is or will struggle with similar trials in there life.
My talk will focus on one trial in particular, and how it affected my faith, and how I learned from it.
First I would like to provide some background. Ever since I was a child I have believed in god, and to me the thought of there not being a God terrified me. So, at an early age I came to know god personally, and I had many experiences that made me a "Believer."
I know without a doubt the power of the atonement, because I have used it many times in my life. Over the years I have grown in knowledge, and life grew in complexity I slowly forgot the simple foundation which I had built on, which was God's love for me.
….Then doubt had the power to try my faith. One of my trials was the loss of a friend's spirituality.
(Story of my Friend)
Back when I was in 9th grade I had the opportunity to take seminary for the first time.
I had previously had some spiritual experiences that had converted me to God, but not particularly the church.
during that year of Seminary I came to love the BOM, and saw and admired that peers my age have also had spiritual experiences in their past, similar to me. This was particularly true with one person in my class. This individual , as I got to know her throughout that class, I came to admire her. what I admired most about this girl was that, at her young age, she had made a conscious choice to live the gospel completely, I was the only other person I knew, who had made that same choice.
Fast forward to our senior year. I was talking to this particular girl in one of the classes we had together, and she out of the blue mentioned that she had decided she wasn't Mormon anymore.
I wasn't sure what to think of that comment...(?) I accepted it as her personal choice.
but what I failed to realize was the impact it had on me, which I did not identify until sometime after graduation. This experience would later play a big roll in my trial as I was asked to wait to go on my mission, due to having food sensitivities and health concerns, and not currently having a method to efficiently manage everything.
I was asked by my family doctor to wait to submit my mission papers until I could find a way to better manage my health.
Just by itself waiting was a huge challenge for me. Because I "felt ready," I had been active in my ward, I was magnifying my calling and I had been going to the temple on a weekly basis with some of my friends. Being asked to wait was like being held back. At a certain point, I guess I felt I was so far behind I felt like I could no longer catch up, and because of that feeling I lost my sense of urgency and with it went my momentum.
After I watched most of my friends leave for the next stage of their life, I started to have the feeling of being left behind in the race of life. during this time I slowly stopped going to the temple, it became harder and harder for me to go to my YSA ward consistently.
I felt like I was stuck in a rut for a long time. Somewhere during this time I remembered and thought about my friends choice. This made me wonder if someone like her could fall away, what was preventing me from doing the same? this conclusion led me on a search as I tried to find an answer to this question. I had no idea where to go for the answer, and it seemed like the answer was hiding from me.
Eventually I got my call to Hawaii and I still did not have my answer. One night I couldn't sleep, so I got out of bed and paced around the house, as my mind wandered, and as I was pacing, I received the answer to my question. It came in the form of a rhetorical question. My answer was, "Remember all the good times?" This answer was so simple that it didn't entirely sink in, but as time passed I gained a better understanding of its meaning.
I found a talk from Neil A. Anderson, titled: "You know enough" shortly after I received my revelation, which I felt described my situation perfectly.
Quote:
"Nearly 40 years ago as I contemplated the challenge of a mission, I felt very inadequate and unprepared. I remember praying, "Heavenly father, how can I serve a mission when I know so little? I believed in the Church, but I felt my spiritual knowledge was very limited. As I prayed, the feeling came; you don't know everything, but you know enough!" That reassurance gave me the courage to take the next step into the mission field."
I relate to his experience in many ways and I don't think it was "chance" that I found this talk. This described my answer perfectly, "I know enough." I have had good experiences with the church that have changed me and unlike my friend, I haven't been able to forget them. I have a testimony.
I want to encourage anyone who is going through a trial that is making you doubt your faith,
"remember the good times" you have had. sometimes an old witness is all that is needed to remember your WHY.
D&C 6:22-23 "verily, verily I say unto you, if you desire a further witness, cast your mind upon the night that you cried unto me in your heart, that you might know concerning the truth of these things.
Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning that matter? What greater witness can you have then from God.
I believe in this scripture, and I know it is true.
Bear Testimony
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